I’m not outnumbered by my fears this time. The second time I took up my NMAT (National Medical Admission Test) happened yesterday. I was kind of feelin that the Test actually was easier as compared to the one I took previously. I had finished all items just on time in Part 1(trying to recall that my previous exam which I had to randomly shade the 40 unanswered items).
Psalm 23 sang inside my mind before I walked the halls of UST. Truly, the Lord is my shepherd. He answered the Test in behalf of me.
To beoutnumbered means to have that expectant heart—-a heart of losing the battle. The opponent has thrice as much number of soldiers and weapons compared to you. See the number. It easily distracts you moving forward towards Jesus. And there’s that verse from the bible, which I believe has pretty much been emphasized several times… it says… fix your eyes on Jesus. Do we still move forward towards Him even if we are outnumbered by the times we failed? Or are we going to keep moving since we know enough that God Himself has already outnumbered the enemy?
“But will God indeed dwell on the earth? Behold heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain You, how much less this house which I have built!” 1 Kings 8:27
—-Outnumbered # 1
I’m a Christian, and let’s agree that most of the readers will either reject this post—-or keep their eyes switching left to right (and up to the final word of this post). Let’s agree that the world “thinks” we are perfect, but I pray that all our minds disagree with this.
Since the modern day works like a routine, and everything seems to me that it is meaningless (Ecclesiastes 1:1-11), I asked God to make me see more beautiful things, and unfamiliar things. What do I mean by “more beautiful things?” I can confidently declare that the Lord made beauty the moment the sun rises, and the point when it sets gold in the sea when it’s almost dark. But we even forget that it is one of His works of wonders, and it can not even be found in our hearts to say “Thank You for the creation.” Yet, tonight, God revealed something about the sun—-that it rises, and it sets, and it rises again to where it came from (Ecc. 1:5). To simply put it, there is a conditioning that happens to us (from Psychology) where everything is normal—and we no longer are amazed with rainbows, and other stuffs. Back when I was a kid, I would often stay the entire time observing the rainbow—-dreaming that one day, I could glide over and touch the 7 colors with my own hands. God delights the child-like faith (Matt. 18: 2). Now, I’ve aged for about more than 10 years. I made it a deal inside my heart to search for things that could make me act like a child, amaze me like a child, but I gave up—-until I was found by the Lord, the ultimate lover of my soul—-whom I find satisfaction and rest. Followed by this beautiful fact, God tells me to search for “unfamiliar things”. It’s the 19th of July, and two days more to get to the day (July 21, 2011) when someone shared to me the gospel. After the sharing, I was unable to sleep for several nights, until it was impressed to me to start carrying the cross. It was, in fact, a difficult moment because of the many possible things that might happen. I was feeding on the Word for almost a year now, but still I held tight to my fears to speak out, and share what grace I have received for a very long period of time. At this point in time, God spoke to me… telling me that the “unfamiliar things” that He meant are to: overcome fears, share to others what you receive, love your enemies, release forgiveness, obedience, and the most beautiful thing among all… make disciples.
I have enough of thanks, and I must fill my spirit with more and more prayers!